Who Am I Now? Finding Your Way in Motherhood

Embrace The new You Mama!

There I was, only a few weeks after giving birth to my twins, going through the dance of trying to be normal again and feeling physically, mentally, and spiritually disconnected from my own body. But what does normal look like anyway? I dislike how society and cultural stigmas create false ideas around how a mother should bounce back after pregnancy—ultimately deciding what normal is. Getting back to a routine of exercising, socializing, and soon becoming a functional member of society again, a.k.a. returning to work, was what I perceived I needed to do in order to at least feel normal again. I wasn't even ready to wrap my head around working, let alone separating myself from my children or household responsibilities, now piling up in the kitchen sink. It was such a delicate time in my life; I was vulnerable and a bit confused about what to do next in my own life.

I understand now, after being a mother for three years, that this is usually the case for new mothers: feeling confused about who you are and how to move forward in life while mothering. Let us normalize this feeling of uncertainty by embracing it as acceptable in our individual journeys with womanhood and motherhood. There is beauty in figuring it out along the way, understanding that we create our own masterpiece of life from all the little pieces we gain along the way.

In my own journey what was the turning point for me? Well, it took getting exhausted enough with not being able to keep up with the unrealistic standards I set for myself before I realized that there is no such thing as getting back to yourself after becoming a mother. In fact, this new version of me was indeed my new normal. Soon enough I thought to myself, I would be a functional member of society again. My goal though was making sure that I was confident in moving forward with my life. What should be most important to new mothers instead of focusing on returning to an old version of themselves, should be learning to honor themselves at the core, and showing up as your authentic self no matter how hard life becomes. As women maturing and growing into motherhood we should appreciate the many layers that add to the depth to who we are.

For me though, after some pretty life changing scenarios in my personal life including the heartbreak and shock from death of my father, I realized that life is intentionally designed to push us out of the familiar. In fact life will always push us ahead, even if we resist the change calling us into the higher functioning version of ourselves our higher selves. Imagine yourself as an onion with a core and then complex layers added on top of each layer, beautifully woven into eachother. Each layer becoming more sophisticated in experience and wisdom as time goes on. This perspective has helped me to take life head on while embracing the change that was calling me into the next dimension.

Let the takeaway be to embrace the new you! Take this opportunity as you're reading this post to re-decide who it is that you want to be right now, and be her unapologetically. There is beauty and significance to the stage you're in right now; be present and enjoy this time in your life because you won't get this time back. Understand that where there is uncertainty, there is endless possibility. Take control over your mind, body, and spirit and gear up sis and trust because there is greatness in your future.